Friend has to step out of a vacation with friends, but offered to pay his part anyway to avoid inconveniences. The hotel canceled the reservation, so he asked for his money back: ‘Sorry, we need the money, so I can’t give it back’

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Jun 29, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

It's not about the money but about the principle, the friendship, the kindness…

Sometimes we get mad over something, and it defines us as a person when that wasn't exactly why we are mad. In the case of this Reddit story, the user gets mad because she's getting run over by her supposed friends, but as they are talking about money, it seems as if she was mad about the money. She isn't. She is mad at the principle of having friends that don't care enough about her to treat her with the due respect and avoid taking money from her. Is the fact that they preferred to take advantage of her instead of actually asking nicely for her help. Is the fact that they willingly made the decision to be bad friends.

Friendship is a valuable relationship between a group of people that is not just made between people who like to hang out together. It includes values that have to be taken into account between the members of the group. These values include respect, nice treatment, and basically being more than just a good person. You look out for your friends and always wish them the best. A friend is not trying to scam you for money or to make you look bad in front of somebody. A friend is someone who tries to bring the best in you, and who likes you for who you are, is like a family member you choose. If you don't like them, why would you have them as friends?

The fact that this has to be explained. After all, they are still people out there justifying their horrible friendships because they don't want to end them, and being alone is sad. If your friend is making your life harder the he is not only a bad person but also an ungrateful human being who doesn't want to be a part of your life, or at least not as a friend, maybe they are just using you for money or resources. That is not a friend, that is a parasite. 
 

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  • 01
    Visual representation of a vacation with friends.
    via Helena Lopes

    Visual representation of a vacation with friends. 

  • 02
    Me and nine other friends had planned on going on holiday together, and we booked an Airbnb, each of us paying an equal part and sending it to my close friend 22M, who was in charge of arranging the holiday.
    via wyliee--99
  • 03
    I'm not a citizen of the country I live in, and I had some problems with my immigration status right before our holiday which interfered with my ability to leave the country. I made my friend. aware of this and apologised but assured him that I would still pay for the stuff we had already booked. I also said I knew some of our friends couldn't come on the holiday since they couldn't
    via wyliee--99
  • 04
    afford it so they were welcome to come in my place and they didn't have to pay me back. They'd just pay for a name change on my plane ticket.
    via wyliee--99
  • 05
    A few days later, he messaged me to say the Airbnb that we had booked had cancelled on us and our money was being refunded. I asked him if it would be alright if he could send me my chunk of the money back and the group could rebook another airbnb that would accommodate a smaller group; He said yes.
    via wyliee--99
  • 06
    He texted me again a while later, saying there were only expensive airbnb's left and they needed my chunk of the money to help everyone afford the more expensive place. "Sorry we need the money so I can't give it back". He also said that I had bailed on everyone and left everyone in a tight spot so "I had to do this" and I was "already okay with my money burning so me paying would be the lesser evil compared to making everyone else pay more" I told
    via wyliee--99
  • 07
    him me bailing wasn't a problem until he decided it was; That what he was trying to do felt opportunistic because he wouldn't have asked me to resend him my money to pay for them, if the money had been refunded to my account and not his. I also looked up housing around the area for myself and found many options that fit all of our criteria. They were perfectly capable of booking a more reasonable place they could afford. I felt as though he was
    via wyliee--99
  • 08
    trying to use me to help the group afford a more luxurious place. The airbnb he was now trying to get was way over budget and it was costing about more than double what my lack of presence would've been costing them if they got a place with a similar price to the original one.
    via wyliee--99
  • 09
    I told him, I wasn't the reason for them being out of a house. That was the Airbnb's fault and they were making it mine. I also couldn't have afforded the new place even if I did come so, would they have expected me to pay my old part again, just so THEY could go on holiday without me? I told him I felt disrespected because he never even asked me if I could help them pay, as a favour to a friend or just a genuine ask for
    via wyliee--99
  • 10
    help because, of course I would've. But he resorted to treating me like a kid he was lecturing. I said the money wasn't the problem but the entitlement was. Everyone in our group said I was super unreasonable.
    via wyliee--99
  • 11
    22M later called me on the phone and it ended up devolving into what essentially felt like a humiliation ritual. He had invited over some of our friends, prior to calling me. And the entire time, as I was talking about how I felt wronged, our "friends" in the background were giggling amongst each other making weird comments and doing little reactions after my every sentence. I'd say "I feel taken advantage of" and they'd laugh audibly in the background and go "I can't
    via wyliee--99
  • 12
    believe she actually said that", "The audacity!". Which really pushed me to the edge and I ended up telling everyone involved to get their together and to stop acting like children and hung up on their face. Honestly, the phone call came as a shock because I've been friends with them for 6+ years and I hadn't realised they were capable of what essentially felt like straight up bu ying (????)
    via wyliee--99
  • 13
    He later texted me and said he found some other option and offered to pay me back to make amends but I told him I was done and to keep the money and blocked him.
    via wyliee--99
  • 14
    Far-Truth8030 The money isn't even what would have ended the friendship for me. It would've been the phone call. Inviting everyone over to laugh at you while trying to pressure you into paying is incredibly immature.
    via Far-Truth8030
  • 15
    Elaikases Yes. You should have taken the money and then blocked him.
    via Elaikases
  • 16
    Impossible_Factor_56 Tbh, you should have taken the money and then not come back, the call is the breaking point, they didn't want to hear you out or really talk to you, but make a circus show out of your emotional vulnerability. And i think you're correct, they just wanted to have luxury at your expense. NTA.
    via Impossible_Factor_56
  • 17
    famousanonamos NTA, but you should have taken the money back. They sounds terrible.
    via famousanonamos
  • 18
    robmanjr These people aren't your friends
    via robmanjr
  • 19
    Friends having fun at a beach, model image.
    via Kylie Lugo

    Friends having fun at a beach, model image. 

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your friends are laughing at you money problems self improvement friendship feud
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